SEMESTER CHRONICLES - ANOTHER ONE

I shouldn't have done this in the first place. Leaving the exam hall frustrated after my last paper and having to deal with the absence of reading glasses, this was always going to be tough.

But same ol’ me wanting to talk about things that happened during the just ended semester couldn't keep my fingers off the keyboard. And I've got sponsors this time- The DUNCANS

Let's ride--

Dzisah buil... sorry- Dr. Wilberforce Sefakor Dzisah, the Rector, built the nicest and most powerful building the Ghana Institute of Journalism has ever seen. Yes, no lie. It might not necessarily be the nicest building you have ever seen but hey!

The building Dzisah put up is spectacular. I won’t lie. I was so impressed that I thought about going up to his office to congratulate him. I thought about it. That’s the farthest I got to congratulating him. My pal, Chinedu, stopped me at the stairs. He agreed that the building is magnificent. He spoke passionately about the lights and the design of the front view. He called it the building’s ‘façade’ if I remember correctly. He wields a good command of the English Language, that guy.

front view of the all new D (zisah) block

Anyway he stopped me because he said Dzisah didn't put up the building. He had a few questions for me: “Is Dzisah an Architect?” = “Did Dzisah design the building?”; “Is Dzisah a mason?” = “Did Dzisah cut, carry, and fix blocks?”; “Is Dzisah an electrician?” = “Did Dzisah fix all those pretty light bulbs?”

😢 So yeah Dzisah didn’t build the magnificent edifice I’m so hyped about. Cool, it’s nothing. But know that without Dr. Dzisah, that building wouldn't be there this semester. Three-storey, four large lecture halls, several lecturers’ offices, male and female washrooms… -sigh- Thank you Doc.

even when it's dark outside

another angle

The building was put up to aid in the accommodation of the fresh crop of students that gained admission this year. The number of students that are accepted into GIJ each year is rising at an alarming rate. I think it’s high time we moved to the new campus at Okponglo.

“iuhgfgfdtrf”

Oh?

“kgkhftygffytfgf”

Oh, okay.

Sorry, I was listening to a little bird whisper into my ear that that campus is far from completion. GIJ might not exist there till five years from now.

We are stuck here at Ringway, with an increasing number of students annually.

This year, they came in. They flocked in in large numbers. You would think they had the same parents or actually came in from the same senior high school. They seemed to know each other. Soon enough, I understood their ‘unity’. They had found themselves in a new environment and felt oddly comfortable around one another since they were all new here. Gradually, that weird unity crumbled when the old dogs [who keep learning new tricks] decided to attack the innocent female preys. The second year students were a bit reluctant to pose as old dogs since they were still learning baby tricks, and frankly, they couldn't match the wildness of the guys in levels above them.

The fourth year students are either too busy or totally Jon. Either way, you won't even see them on campus talking to any girl at all.

But the third years. Oh my days! Can you believe competition was so tight, you realized all your guys had already spoken to the first year girl you just spoke to? The 'Time No Dey' rule was unconsciously in effect. The October Rush was mad. All the fine fine girls were grabbed with tactics carefully laid-out and executed with pinpoint precision. Guys became Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho in the chase after these young and pretty, and I beg your pardon, naive girls. I heard the story of a level 300 Journaism C guy who claimed he was protecting one particular girl for her off-campus boyfriend. They were seen together everywhere. It was a gimmick -not meant to attract attention- but to divert and thwart his opponents. He was actually dating the girl! Oh Romeo would be jealous of how this Juliet was grabbed.

GIJ guys be like

Some of us haven't yet said hello to these fine girls. But we no bore. Patience moves mountains. We shall get there.

These first year girls are so privileged. Ask any fine first year girl whether she hasn't been accompanied from campus to Headquarters. That's the kind of privilege I'm talking about. These guys would walk with these girls all the way to Quarters and walk back alone. If you do this, how different are you from those trekking across the desert in search of greener pastures? At least, they are going in search of good fortunes. You act as a girl's escort all the way from campus to Quarters and walk back alone. Ankonam.

While guys walked all the way to Headquarters and back, others were struggling to find their feet. Academically, that is. After postponing the reopening date several times, school finally reopened on 28th September, and we had only 11 or so weeks to engage in all activities- academic and extracurricular.

"This semester was packed. It's been really tiring for me." - Ohenewa, second year.

Ohenewa

I can attest to that fact, albeit in a different context. She was okay. She just felt she needed more time to go over her notes. But me? hmm lemme show you a conversation I had early on in the semester with one of my closest friends, Benedicta. She's in Tech, 4th year. In case you didn't know, my name is Evans. She calls me Evvs.

 I didn't even have notes. I couldn't keep up with the truckload of assignments and projects. I couldn't even stay for two continuous lectures, let alone group meetings. And that was how my group members decided not to include my name in a Political Communication assignment. I couldn't blame them much. The pressure has been enormous for all of us. Special thanks to several colleagues, including Sandra Hyde, Tryphena, and Kwabena for helping us during the revision week.
What of you? How was your semester and examinations? Great? Wow! ow not so good? Not to worry, if you trail, you can always resit the papers. Just ensure that Frimpong Manso, Esq. doesn't have you "flushed out of the system!!!"

It's strictly by faith that we made it this far.

The semester also saw an overwhelming increase in the stealing of mobile phones. God knows I shed a tear and another when Hawa's iPhone 6 was stolen from her bag while she was in the exam hall scribbling away. I was worried about how I would see her ah-mazing body on Instagram after that. I'm planning a fund-raising event for her. She needs to get another (i)Phone quickly so we get to see her hips on full display ;)

Hawa

Talking about this phone theft issue, were you on campus on December 15th at around 3 pm? Oh, you weren't? Wonso deε. Not to worry though. That's why you are here.15th December. 10 days before the birth of Sir Isaac Newton and Jesus Christ. The Diploma students had finished writing their paper, and not surprisingly, another phone had vanished from its owner's bag. You Kumasi people can stop imagining Kyeiwa's disappearing act. Eyi yε physical!

The owner won't listen to the 'Fa ma Nyame' that echoed from us. She preferred to give it to Antoa. Oh yeah, Antoa. That was an amusing choice if you ask me. Why would you report your stolen phone issue to a god that has had its shrine robbed?
This fine girl in a red dress rushed to the cafeteria and bought white eggs and erm... white eggs and a bottle of Ice-cold Star Beer. Yeah chale, beer for Antoa. She rushed back to the forecourt, called on the Antoa bosom, and cursed whoever stole her phone.
Apparently, her phone costs ¢1,500 only. So she denied God for that amount? Females. Petty bunch. Well, she was lucky Mr. Quashiga didn't witness her madness. Oh he would have called an assembly and dismissed her outright without fear of contradiction from the condescending PHD holders bearing recognized positions.
Yeah, according to hearsay, the Doctors on campus look down on the Masters. But who am I to comment on that? I'm just another undergrad student trying to stay within the 1st and 2nd Class honors. Menyε Doctor, menyε Master, frεme braa.

Moving on. The race to sit in the fully air-conditioned container is on! The top drawer guys have all made their intentions known cleverly. Jonah Eledi of level 300 PR. A. is in the contest of his life with Madugu of 300 Journalism C, Ibs Rockson of 300 PR. A, Alfred of 300 Journalism B, and, and I think that's all for now. These are the guys that have openly declared their intentions to run for the position of SRC President. Their PR skills are in full flight with flyers and banners and dissemination of mass messages and man-to-man conversations. These guys have their heads up because that, which they crave, is the very top of student politics.
Salute to David Acheampong for declaring his intentions to run for General Secretary also. Hardworking, and absolutely brilliant, that guy.
There are other students vying other positions but erm... Only Kausara Lukman a.k.a Mama Karo [for SRC Organizer] and Phyliss Lamptey, Queen of Yaa Asantewa Hall [vying for Women's Commissioner] seem serious enough. These ladies are everywhere pulling strings and reassuring us of their credibility and leadership qualities. You might want to note their names. More power to your elbows, guys! Those that would come out of the shadows and declare their intentions to run next sem also are welcome. Everything is set for next sem actually. It's your time guys.



-Turns up the volume:  for the one corner there; Ekiiki mi -

Grandiloquent; Politically inclined; Kweku Baako's son; Intellectual masturbater; Camp Nou Faithful; Messi worshipper; Debonair; Unpaid registrar; Your go-to-guy; Chairman of the Rub-Dee Mafia; Ranking member of the Duncans; Dada T-Yaazo; Keteke President; Media Eshun: whichever way you know him, he is everywhere on campus. He's actually the only student with an office on campus. Kay turned erm, 20-something in December and the party organized in his honor was a kra bε hwε. Credits to the organizers [Rub-Dee & The Duncans] for planning an event on campus, in the cafeteria, without Kay's knowledge. That takes some doing. I told you he's the chairman of the Rub-Dee cafeteria mafia. Kay is privy to all information on campus. You can imagine his genuine shock when he walked into the cafeteria that afternoon and saw the jamboree. He was met with "S U R P R I S E" and all that fancy stuff rich kids like to say at surprise parties. Your man was humbled. He was dumbfounded. Then came the biggest surprise. His sweetheart, who was supposed to be at the office, helping the government, appeared out of nowhere and presented him with a tight hug. Kay almost peed in his pants.

KAY and his sweetheart, ESSUMANBA JOSIAH

KAY and CLARIS

A SECTION OF THE DUNCANS

KAY and OHENEWA

Kay with Auntie Ruby 

There are several other stories I wish I could tell you but my sponsors are curtailing my creativity. Remember the Mr & Miss Akwaaba pageant where Bukom Ban ku was invited? What was the reason for the SRC doing that anyway.. How much did they pay him? I think they should have brought in a musician.  Remember the SRC-organized trip to Sogakope? Did you hear of the students sexcapades on that trip? Do you remember when the current Face of GIJ auditioned for Miss Malaika and got overlooked in a humiliating manner? If you ask me, she deserved it. She was too terrified out there. You need to prepare for these things. She should ask Mina the level of preparation she indulged in before going for the audition last year.

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It's become pretty difficult to achieve First Class Honors. Forget about studies in the meantime. After paying school fees for four continuous years, you may end up with a THIRD Class. Let that sink in for a second.
Out of all the students that graduated this year, only 5 had their names in the First Class list. Two regular students and three weekend students. Congratulations to those 5. Fantastic Five. Hardwork paid off, I guess. A moment of silence for every graduate that's not getting hired because of bad grades.                                

Agyenim Boateng, one of the graduands on that day

I remember the week that list was posted on the notice board. Students had a solemn look on their faces. Them see say nowhere really cool like that. Most were seen in the library busily reading. Others were seen in groups having discussions. I laughed. Oh, I laughed so hard. Like, one day of seriousness won't even get you 9 out of 15 marks in any IA at all and you want to use one day of studies to attain 1st class? You dey joke! Please get serious now and keep it consistent. Only way.

There are lots to be told but we can't spend all day here.

I could tell you about the lecturer that has made it a habit to chase all the level 200 girls. He's married. He's a Lawyer and he teaches... I've been stopped.
And what of the level 300 fresh boy that is competing with a lesbian for a level 100 girl? I mean, what sort of silly contest is this one? Who's he going to blame if a lesbian manages to win over a straight girl? How can you be fresh, be a ladies' man, and be in such a race? Onua, asεm wɔ hɔ oo. I can just imagine me, Fiifi K, competing with a lesbian for a straight girl. Simple. Meet with them and propose a three-some. Everyone cums, everyone is happy.

In rather unfortunate news, a level 300  PR student was caught stealing drinks from Ben's fridges at the Cafeteria. The student, name withheld for investigative purposes, was nabbed by Reggie, who alerted the security men. He was quickly handed over to the police for questioning and subsequent punishment. This incident occurred in the early hours of Tuesday, December 29, while school had let out some 9 days ago for holidays.

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That is everything I can bring to you for now. Thanks to you for staying with me. Special thanks to the Duncans for making this writeup possible Enjoy your holidays. See you next sem. Till then, yε wɔ krom!

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Design by : Sly, level 300 PR
Twitter @BoB_419

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Stories : Fiifi, level 300 Journalism
Twitter @FiifiKhoruz