How To Be A Cool Kid In GIJ

This is for all the freshers that have come in this semester. This is a university. Long as it might take you to believe it, this is not a high school. Don’t ever think of GIJ as such. I’m saying this because I have met so many people that say they see GIJ  as a vacation classes institute. Their reasons vary. The one they all have in common is that GIJ doesn’t have buildings that are referred to as Halls like they do in University of Ghana and KNUST. The fact that we dress like we are attending Saturday Classes at the Junior High level and that we come and go back home each day has made people delusional into thinking that we are not at a University. Don’t join the bandwagon [that’s a word you will learn in Theories of Communication so don’t worry if you don’t understand it].

Sorry I haven’t welcomed you already. My bad.

Welcome to Ghana Institute of Journalism. Welcome to truckload of individual and group assignments. Welcome to the institute where nothing happens but everything goes on. I know you don’t understand it but wait. Just wait. Two months in and you will understand everything. So yeah, welcome. Say hi when you see me.

Now, let’s get to why you are actually here. You want to know how to be a cool kid in GIJ. You have no worries. You are at the right place. Just chill and read on. Even before that, share the link with your friends and get them reading too. Oh you won’t? You are selfish?

That should be number one on this list then..

Don’t be selfish

Selfishness took no man anywhere. There will be several instances where you would be paired with another or put in a group to complete an assignment. Don’t do it alone. Don’t feel like you attended Gey Hey and your group members went to Assin-Manso Day SHS so you know much more than they do. You don’t know shit. Join hands with them and finish the work. It’s not like you will even get everything correct. Also there is that one guy who will not participate in the group work. Don’t refuse to add his name to the final work. Don’t let the devil use you. Add his name and just know that a time may come when you might not help in an assignment.

The cafeteria is not your living room. The cafeteria is not your lounge. The cafeteria is not your study room. The cafeteria is a… well… a cafeteria! Don’t sit at the cafeteria and involve yourself in useless chatter all day. The cafeteria is meant for eating and drinking. So yes, by all means go and eat and drink all you want. There are various foods there depending on what day of the week it is. There are bottles of water for you dadabees and for those of you that are like me, sachet water is available for a cool 20p. Eat. Drink. But for the love of God, please give way so others can also use the tables and chairs.

Maintain a fresh breath.

While on the subject of food and drinks, you should know that a fresh breath is very important. You don’t know when someone would approach you and start a conversation. You don’t want to make them turn their heads away in disgust. The cafeteria sells mint also. Get some Tomtom or PK and feel confident enough to talk to anybody at all.

The library is your friend too.

I don’t spend much time at the library but take it from me – the library is your friend. Don’t ignore it. Don’t walk by it. Enter it. Don’t be scared. If you want to be a cool kid, one sure way of doing that is to ensure that your colleagues think you are a serious student. After all, you are in GIJ to learn and get a 1^st Class degree. So read. Read a lot. I can guarantee that every book you need is in the library. GIJ lecturers actually hate answers that you copy from Wikipedia. Use the books at the library more. Even if you won’t read, spend time at the library and let people think you are a really serious student. The air-conditioner works fine there so you can go and sleep. After the exam, your colleagues will make As and Bs and you will trail [it’s a university. We don’t say fail, we say trail]

Trips are important.

All work and no play makes you a nobody. If you want to be a cool kid, go on trips organized by the SRC and your Hall. Yes, GIJ will assign you to various halls. Be a proud member and pay your dues. Now when they organize weekend or week-long trips, please do well to be on the bus. All the fun is on the bus and at the destination. If the gods of love smile on your ugly face, you might find your love interest during this trip. These trips are fun to partake in. Don’t wait to be told about things that happened. Go and experience everything.

Make friends.

This might sound like a very regular thing that happens almost by chance. But what if you are waiting for the other person to make a move and that person is also waiting for you to make a move. You will end up leaving campus without talking to anyone at all. Your only friends will be those that you make in your assignment groups. No disrespect to anyone but your colleagues would not take you anywhere. They also just came into school, remember? They are as immature and clueless about things as you are. Make friends with those in levels above you.

b) Don’t burn bridges.

Don’t destroy friendships. You are at the tertiary level. This is actually where life starts. If you make the right friends and keep them, you don’t know where you might get in life. These people know people that know people. You might get a job in no time. There are several people on campus that are already working for the big corporations and appearing on TV and Radio. Cool kids right there.

Image is everything in GIJ.

This should probably have been the first on this list but this list isn’t in order of importance so whatever. Dress well. I can’t reiterate how very important this is. Be squeaky clean and make sure your attire is current. Branding is needed. You can choose a style of dressing that people would always associate you with. Girls are welcome to wear mini skirts and blouses that show off ample cleavage. I mean, it’s your life and your choice, right?

b) You can commit all the sins of fashion but in respect to the fact that Adam and Eve were fully nude for several years of their lives, please and please again: Do not wear the same shirt twice in a week. Think of this rule as that one that nobody would tell you but everybody talks about. You would think nobody is talking about you but please get rid of that thought. People have been talking before you were born. People would talk long after you die. Don’t come here and be fronting that you don’t care when people talk about you. Just don’t disgrace your parents by repeating your shirt the very next day. You are not in high school anymore.

c) Along with looking good, ensure that you smell good. We already have bad smell issues that we are still trying to solve. Please don't come and add your bad body odor to it. Have some respect for our noses and always make sure your body scent is one that can be hailed and talked about positively. This doesn't mean go and steal your father's money or sleep with fraud boys to get money for expensive perfumes. There are lots of inexpensive but really cool perfumes out there. Whenever you pass by someone who smells really good, you can stop them and ask what kind of perfume they use. That should be after complimenting them. If you know you smell bad, please stay at home. We hate people like you.

Hugs are the most appropriate form of greeting.
1Peter 5:14 says greet one another with a kiss of love... The Bible says kiss but we have come a long way in humanity and most of you are savages! If we should allow you to greet people with a kiss, you would take advantage and do silly things. So, the rules have altered slightly to ensure that we all remain civilized. So go on and hug your friends when you see them. There's no problem with it.

Image Credit: Cupid Hug

It has even been proven beyond reasonable doubt that We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth. and if you don't know how to hug, you probably have been living in a cave for too long. Here are some ways to hug. Practise hugging your pillow and come and give excellent hugs on campus. It's necessary.

*You do not need the Bible. Neither do you need the Quran.

This is the blueprint that most of the guys in levels above you wish they had known when they gained admission to GIJ. Most of them are now walking around here as nobodys. But it’s never too early or late to begin to learn, so you are welcome, all of you that are reading this right now.

This is everything I have for you at this time. It doesn’t mean this is everything there is. Humble yourself and put your ears to ground. You might learn a thing or two from the old dogs.

You can also let the Duncans do what they do best. Meet them, get to know them, and let them show you the path to being cool in GIJ and in life actually. Just email me and I would link you with these guys.

PS: it is very okay to date someone on the same campus as you. This means that it is okay to date a GIJ student. Look at it this way – why would you date someone that isn’t on the same campus with you? Someone that finished another school or is in another school? Didn’t that someone find another someone in his school? Or he could not muster courage to talk to those other people and ask them out? Or you are the most pretty girl in all of Ghanaian Tertiary Institutions? Or you are the most gullible person around these parts so his words got to you?

Feel free to date a GIJ student. It’s much nicer. You get to see his ugly face everyday. You guys can go on school trips together and have mad fun doing everything. And yup, Semester Chronicles would talk about your relationship when the time is due.

 Go on and be a cool kid! Just by reading this, you are already on the right path.

Consultants:

*Chinedu, Level 400 Public Relations A
 Twitter

*Sly, Level 400 Public Relations A
 Twitter

Writer:
Fiifi Khoruz, Level 400 Journalism C